


Her Inner Self

by Saerwen_Greenleaf



Category: Doctor Strange (2016)
Genre: Broken Characters, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Possibly Unrequited Love, Psychology, Slow Build, Stephen Strange is way too curious, but The Ancient One doesn't really mind, doesn't go too far away from the canon, my headcanon, no declaration of love, plot without porn, they both know it anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:22:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saerwen_Greenleaf/pseuds/Saerwen_Greenleaf
Summary: She never really knew how it happened. She was a slave of the darkness and still took her power from it and with that the fear started spreading inside of her. She managed to build up and keep a facade of who she ought to be -- that was The Ancient One. The rest got locked away in her inner self and was forced to never influence her actions again. No one knew her and that was how it was meant to be and she was very good at keeping it that way. That was until Doctor Stephen Strange.----------------Concentrates on the thoughts and feelings of The Ancient One and how Doctor Stephen Strange managed to change all of her against her will.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I just couldn't believe that this ship just didn't excist! So yea, someone has to make the first step, or not? *winks*  
> I tried not to be too off canon. Mostly, I just added their thoughts to the actual scenes or made up scenes that were not shown in the movie.  
> So I hope that it will be enjoyable. Most of this fic is stuffed with my headcanon of The Ancient One. It really helps to read The Ancient One and her 'inner self' as two different characters, even if they are the same person.  
> Hope you guys enjoy it!

She never really knew how it happened. She never really wanted to know how it ended. She tried to look away, to never face the darkness of the future again, but she couldn't. She was a slave of the darkness and still took her power from it and with that the fear started spreading inside of her. She always tried to fight her demons and tried to stay on the path of light, but her past and her own self forced her to slip away again and again. But she never would have been The Ancient One, if she wouldn't have been able to hide it. Her name encouraged her to gain all of her power that was hers and let it spread to the very edges of her dark self. She had the power but with every day she got stronger and stronger the more her demons grew as well.They always were there and she knew it. She hated them. She fought them in every possible way, but they never faded. It was at this point that she realised that she had to learn to live with them and stand above them. It was at this point that she built her own dimension. She separated her soul into two selves. She knew how she was meant to be and her sentiment-influenced actions only would hinder her -- at least a great part of it. She managed to build up and keep a facade of who she ought to be with her characteristics that made her stronger, wise and powerful. That was the very self of The Ancient One. The rest got locked away in her 'inner self', which she forced to never get into control of her thoughts and feelings again. No one knew her and that was how it was meant to be, there always was just The Ancient One and she was very good at keeping it that way. That was until Stephen Strange.

The audition started as usual. The one who was broken got in and got lost for a moment in the comfort of hope and honeyed tea. As usual, there was that look of disbelief and doubt. But Stephen Strange got unpredictable soon enough. Way too soon. The only logical thing (as far as logic in Kamar-Taj could go) was to dismiss him or in this case rather to throw him out. This kind of action was not supposed to happen. The Ancient One never got so... rushed when it came to declining the ability of learning in Kamar-Taj, but it was the way of Mr. Strange's very character that made her rasing her chin up a bit too high and showing him the world his eyes couldn't yet see a bit too cruel. Her 'inner self' whispered that it was her own way of showing off, but she dismissed that thought quickly. It was just her strict way of getting people a glimpse of the power that waited for them to explore. It was normal for The Ancient One, so Mordo didn't get suspicious in any way (just a bit worried, but that was just him). Only she knew that it was not normal for her to 'get people a glimpse' after she already had decided that they weren't the right ones.

That was the first reason that made The Ancient One throw Doctor Stephen Strange out and her inner self slightly starting to panic -- of course just out of confusion.

This man's mind was like that of Kaecilius in too many ways. They were so similar: that arrogance, that disbelief, that egoism, even their choice of words. It was their very behavoir that made their souls unworthy for what was about to come. And still did she allow Kaecilius to be able to gain the power he so desired. And why? Because she saw potential in him and hoped to make him a better person. It was because of her simplicity. She wouldn't let that happen again.

That was the second reason that made The Ancient One throw Doctor Stephen Strange out. 

But there was something else that made her 'inner self' hold its breath: It was his 'being' that resembled her very own self and teased one of her demons to the surface of her facade. It was this ambition, the urge of defending oneselfs strength and desire of having an authority. It was a demon, which could not be held in the prison of her own dimension, but strictly controlled and used in a very rational amount. Well, it took one guy and not even five minutes to loose that control. The Ancient One kept this demon hidden, because it was too dangerous and manipulative to be one of the wise characteristics. It was fascinating, but mostly unsettling that Stephen Strange unconsciously managed to damage her facade in that way. She got out of her control, even if it was just the tiniest bit. The Ancient One couldn't let that happen, it would bear too many consequences. 

That was the third and most important reason that made The Ancient One throw Doctor Steven Strange out.

She thought she would be able to forget his name and the presence of its manipulating feeling leaving in its wake, but fate seemed to have other plans than that. When Mordo told her that Mr. Strange was still waiting outside of their door after a good five hours it got difficult for The Ancient One to suppress an ironic smile. Of course he would not give up. She had half anticipated it, but it still surprised her. She wondered if it was for his selfishness, his brokenness or his pure will and strength to let him linger on the doorway to Kamar-Taj. Was it out of hope or distress? The Ancient One only could guess and that set her in an uneasy mood. She never guessed, also had she analysed Dr. Stephen Strange before that day and was right all along, so what made her hesistate? What did she see in that arrogant and egoistic soul that brought her in this very state and made her overthink all of her actions again?

She had bid Mordo away and let herself recover in the realm of privacy. She didn't have a special position for meditation, she just arranged her body in a way comfortable. She hated looking into the future, so every bit of ease was needed. But as she closed her eyes and let herself float away in the endless stream of golden magic a new surprise awaited her. She couldn't see whether she let him stay in Kamar-Taj or dismissed him forever, there was just darkness awaiting her. At first she thought that something had went wrong, but then two images slowly appeared in front of her 'inner eyes'. The images were blurry, but the more The Ancient One concentrated the more clear they got. Then her expectation got blown away anew. There weren't two possible futures of the ex-neurosurgeon, there just were two faces of his which looked the same at first. Both were a bit different than the man's itself outside, but they also held a 'different Mr. Strange' in their images. The left face was definitly the same age as him ouside, but it looked way older. The expression ought to be neutral, but its stare seemed empty. Her 'inner self' hold her breath and let a prickle like goose-bumps run down her spine. She recognised that look and it made her stomach turn. She quickly concentrated on the right face. It looked the same as the left one, but for the first time she caught silver-blue eyes staring at and somehow through her. The clear arrogance in its features didn't fade away, but its look carried not this old expression but a kind of will that let her 'inner self' inhale sharply. Under this gaze she felt somewhat weak and nervous and resistant and proud at the same time. It was ground-shaking, because The Ancient One didn't know whether one image of Stephen Strange was good and the other bad, wether both faces let to failure or success. What she saw wasn't two different possibilities of the future, it was two choices. But who had to make them? The Ancient One obviously had to do it now, but this challenge would be Dr. Strange's soon enough, where he had to decide with his actions, reactions, feelings, knowledge and hope. It was at this point the she did realise that it didn't matter what she did, Doctor Stephen Strange stayed an important person. The Ancient One just had to help him to stand up to his challenge which was about to come. She snapped her eyes open. There was only one thing to do now.

It was at this moment, that The Ancient One granted the biggest hero of the 21st century the ability to gain the power his soul craved for. It was not out of pity, it was out of uncertainty for what was about to come and interest in the very man, although she had no idea how he was able to captivate it.


	2. The Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problem with Stephen Strange was very easy to explain. It became a challenge between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry it took me longer than a year to upload this second chapter!!! Please forgive me!
> 
> This chap is mostly about my headcanon, interpretations of canon scenes and a lot of added stuff.   
> Much fluff is happening here.
> 
> Again, it really helps if you read The Ancient One and her Inner Self as two seperate characters, even though they are basically the same person.

The problem with Stephen Strange was very easy to explain. He wasn’t a bad student at all; he learned impossibly fast and obeyed almost every rule set in Kamar-Taj. The problem was that he always wanted to do better. His curiosity was insanely huge and seemingly impossible for him to handle - not that he ever gave up. 

Seeing it from an outside point of view, his behavior was fascinating in its own beautiful way. It reminded The Ancient One a bit of her first years discovering magic that existed behind the borders of the obvious. She remembered the urge to know everything and even more.   
It didn’t come as a surprise to her that Doctor Stephen Strange was the one to experience such feeling as well, since he was used to the fact that he had more knowledge and IQ than everyone else. 

Seeing it from her point of view, it unsettled The Ancient One in a weird kind of way. She‘d had many students and the all of them had wanted information and the ability to use their newly discovered power but nobody had actually craved it quite like the ex-neurosurgeon - except for one particular student. A student that turned his back in the end and she was worried that, one day, Stephen Strange would do the same - at least when he finally could use magic because, on the contrary to most people that had been in Kamar-Taj, he couldn’t transform the newly gained theoretical knowledge into practice.   
His problem went on for a bit until the Ancient One decided to help him. Maybe she would fail him like she failed Kaecilius but her hope would never die. 

She didn‘t really hear Mordo‘s comment (“Oh, no, not again...“) as she stared into the space where the ex-neurosurgeon had stood just a minute ago. With a fan that she turned around in her hands she counted the seconds he took to come back to her. She didn‘t really need to since she could have easily counted in her head but she felt the urge to occupy her hands. The Ancient One was... nervous for some reason she didn’t really want to know yet.   
If Mordo noticed her silent fidgeting, he didn‘t say anything about it. 

When Mr. Strange finally came back (far too late for her liking) from Mt. Everest, shivering and traumatised, The Ancient One felt relief, affection and guilt flooding her body. Nothing but her eyes gave her away.

When she was alone in her quarters she mentally slapped herself.   
She was the Sorcerer Supreme to discipline her students, to learn the ability to use magic and reach a new level of self-control, selflessness and wisdom.   
She didn‘t have time to feel - wasn’t supposed to.   
In all honesty, she‘d already thought she had locked her Inner Self deep down inside of her and it hadn‘t really come to the surface ever since.   
And now all of her composure was muddled because of the look Doctor Strange gave her. The helplessness and disbelief in his blue eyes made her feel ashamed and uneasy.   
The Ancient One straightened her back and mental mask of indifference.   
Every unwelcome emotion would be gone soon enough.   
She walked out of her quarters and did what she‘d always done: training soon-to-be masters. 

But even after hours the guilt hadn‘t faded. It frustrated The Ancient One down to the core because she couldn‘t concentrate at all.  
This had to stop but how?   
She would‘ve never gone to him and apologised- she was far too proud for that.   
She had to think of something else to put her mind at ease...

In the evening The Ancient One went to Stephen Strange‘s room with a vial in her hand.   
She didn‘t knock, even though she waited outside and listened for a few seconds to see if it wasn’t an inappropriate moment for her to come in.   
It didn‘t appear so, so she opened the door slowly.   
The ex-neurosurgeon sat on his small bed with a book in his hands and his blanket draped over his shoulders.   
When he noticed someone coming in, he looked up but his eyes immediately narrowed as he saw The Ancient One approaching him.   
She could see that he tried to embody uttermost respect towards her but she also noticed... wariness.  
A little strike of panic shot through her but she mentally swallowed it down before it could show on her face. 

“Is something wrong?“, Mr. Strange asked.

“No.“, was her answer. 

A rather long and uncomfortable silence stretched between them.   
Finally The Ancient One reached out her hand with the vial and began to speak:  
“Put this into you tea before you go to sleep.“

Stephen Strange looked slightly suspicious until his curiosity took the better of him and he took the small bottle. 

“What is it for?“, and then, for the first time this evening, he looked her in the eyes. 

Really looked, searching for something on her face. It was relieving in a weird   
(pleasant) way. 

“It‘s for warming up.“, was all The Ancient One brought out. 

If she slightly squared her shoulders in a subconscious self-defense, neither of them noticed or cared. 

“Tea with honey would have done the job just fine.“, the ex-neurosurgeon murmured, the corners of his mouth curving upward a little. 

The Ancient One knew he meant “Thank you.“, but there was also a kind of hesitance there. 

Why?

She turned around and reached for the door. The Ancient One would have never admitted that she was sorry, so she told him a different truth. 

“I can‘t have my trouble-student falling ill, can I?“, and somehow Stephen Strange knew how she meant it. 

The door closed behind her. 

It started off slowly.   
The doctor would ask more questions about the use of magic and it was alright.   
The Ancient One did nothing but answer him (except for a few techniques he wasn‘t ready for yet).  
Maybe that became the main reason why Stephen Strange started to read huge amounts of books. Apparently, he really had to know everything.   
That in itself wasn‘t unsettling or even surprising but his reading addiction became worse. The mass of knowledge he tried to contain became nearly impossible for him to bear.   
And how did The Ancient One know about that?  
It wasn‘t like Mr. Strange had told her anything, she got this information from another source.  
Wong had told her about these... incidents.  
She knew that she had to do something if the doctor didn‘t come to his senses.   
Of course he didn‘t.   
But before she could take any measures she had to see for herself what exactly was going on.   
How did he even manage to read all that books in such a short notice?  
Obviously, she wouldn‘t just go and ask him, would she?   
The results would have never been entirely truthful and she had to know.

In the evening The Ancient One changed into her astral body and flew to Stephen Strange‘s quarters.   
He couldn‘t see her since she build a mirror dimension like a shield in front of her that made her practically invisible.  
(There just were some things only she could do.)

When she finally saw the ex-neurosurgeon, the scene before her was... fascinating?  
Doctor Stephen Strange had left his sleeping body in his astral body as well and read books meanwhile.

Clever.

Sadly, with that he only took his body in consideration, not his mind.  
The Ancient One mentally sighed. This wouldn‘t end well for him if he suddenly became crazy from brain overload.

But unfortunately, talking about it the next day didn‘t help at all.  
She‘d have to take action in another way, then. 

Every day before dinner she slipped drugs into Stephen Strange‘s tea that would tie his astral body to his living one. It also put him into a relatively content state.  
The masters and students all dined together in the main room of Kamar-Taj, so it wasn’t that difficult to smuggle something into the doctor‘s drink.  
Maybe she shouldn‘t have done it but this was a better option than having her (favourite) trouble-student ill.

He never said anything about it, so The Ancient One assumed that he never noticed.  
Except after about two weeks after her first interference, Doctor Stephen Strange finally acknowledged it.   
When all students were allowed to eat, he took his cup of hot liquid, gave I little toast towards The Ancient One and took a sip, his eyes never leaving hers.  
She hardened her features and looked away.  
Only Stephen Strange could take that as confirmation.  
Of course she noticed the corners of his mouth twitch up into a little amused smile.   
The Ancient One‘s face remained indifferent, even though it was hard not to smile herself.   
She felt somehow flattered by the utter trust the doctor had in her, despite the fact that she literally drugged him every evening behind his back. Shouldn‘t he have felt betrayed?   
His total lack of said emotions made The Ancient One feel weird.  
It shouldn‘t have been affecting her the way it did. 

It was a few days later that the real questions began.

Mordo was training with Dr. Strange when he asked: “So, just how ancient is she?“

The Ancient One stood a few paces away, watching the fight of two men before her. Nobody knew her real age, not even her. After staying alive for longer than humanly possible it didn‘t really matter anymore and she had stopped counting the years.  
She didn‘t exactly listen when Mordo lectured Mr. Strange to trust his teachers - an easy enough rule. 

Doctor Stephen Strange never went with easy.

“May I ask you... how old are you exactly?“ 

The Ancient One and Doctor Stephen Strange were training. She shot little light daggers at him while he either had to dodge away or generally stop them from emerging his body.   
This very straightforward question came out of the blue and it surprised her. She slightly increased her speed in throwing.   
As predicted, Stephen Strange began to struggle. Good, maybe it would shut him up. 

“You should concentrate on what you are supposed to do instead of asking private questions.“

It was a mild warning and at first The Ancient One thought her trouble-student understood but then something changed in his demeanor.

Challenge accepted.

He created a shield of light in front of him and moved two steps forward.   
Her Inner Self snarled. 

Stubborn bastard.

This was worse than Kaecilius had been. Of course, he had been too nosy as well but he never really outright showed it so daringly in front of the Sorcerer Supreme.  
Hence it was no wonder when she was all but taken aback by the behavior of the student before her.  
It was unnerving and she half glared at Stephen Strange in a way that made him swallow unconsciously.   
Before he could say anything, she intervened.

“It is none of your business. I would highly request for you to go back to your training, Mr. Strange.“

And then, she suddenly moved. The Ancient One let her magical disks of light appear in the space around her hands and directly attacked the ex-neurosurgeon.   
Of course, Doctor Stephen Strange was so surprised that his shield subsided a bit before he concentrated hard enough again.   
He shielded electric blow after electric blow until he realised that he had to fight back.   
Of course it was a clear sign for him to shut up and let go of the matter entirely but something inside The Ancient One told her that this wouldn‘t be over yet.

Dear god, let this end well...

Next Doctor Stephen Strange asked questions about her but nothing too personal. It was mostly about her magic. It went from how a certain spell worked that she used to how she had learned all of that. 

“The same way you learn things: practice and idealise.“, she had answered.

It was a good enough answer and he let go of the matter.  
On the very next day he asked about the importance of their clothes in context with magic, then about hers specifically. She dutifully answered and nearly smiled at his proposition to train in a long dress and a tuxedo next time. 

And it went on like that.  
It became their very own atmosphere around practice.  
They shared light dialogues with jokes (by Stephen Strange) and mostly ironic and amused remarks (by The Ancient One).   
He always asked and she (almost) always answered but it never really went too far beyond professional.  
At least for the first few weeks.

After some time the questions became more about her than her magic. 

“How can you learn all of this when you don‘t even know it exists? Do you still learn?“

Her Inner Self smiled. It often happened that her students thought of her as inhuman because of her appearance and age. She supposed that, in a way, it was true. 

“One does never not learn, Mr. Strange.“, she told him.  
“Our universe is one of many. The magic we already know and use is simple science in another universe and there are so many more to explore.“

Doctor Stephen Strange still looked skeptical. 

“So, you‘re saying it‘s your ‘mission‘ to find all of them?“

“No“, she said and looked him in the eyes, “our mission is to keep and protect what we already have.“

They remained as they were for some time that felt like an eternity, looking at each other. Both of them knew that she hadn‘t only talked about the universes.  
And as The Ancient One stayed looking into her trouble-student‘s eyes, they seemed like a universe, too. 

You found it, now keep it.

The next questions were personal but not overly so.   
Doctor Strange mostly wanted her opinion - first about the earth in general, then about people in general, then about Kamar-Taj and its people, then (not very often) about him and at last about her.   
All of them were easy questions like: “Is yellow your favorite color?“ or “What is your favorite tea?“  
It surprised The Ancient One because nobody had been interested in this for a very, very long time. It had never really bothered her.   
The thing was that Kaecilius had asked similar questions when he had been a student but not with the same motives as the ex-neurosurgeon had.   
At first Kaecilius had asked things just to know. In that regard he and Stephen Strange were the same - knowledge was the most important thing.   
Later, Kaecilius had asked out of suspicion and doubt. The Ancient One had never answered his more personal questions and he had taken that as confirmation that she wasn’t to be trusted.   
Doctor Stephen Strange didn‘t.   
Of course, there was some greater motive behind his actions; The Ancient One had noticed his questioning pattern long ago. But yet, she couldn‘t quite tell what his exact motives were behind all of this. She knew that she came across as a mystery and mysteries tempt to be found out but deep down her Inner Self hoped that someone would just want to know out of interest and nothing else. But that was naïve, that‘s why The Ancient One didn‘t hope.  
Maybe that was the reason why she played along: out of suspicion and not hope. She‘d watch and judge if their little game was dangerous for either of them or if it was harmless. 

She just wanted to know why.

Well, maybe she was just like Kaecilius and Doctor Stephen Strange after all. She hated herself for it. 

Their little game carried on like that and it was fine. The Ancient One noticed that it had taken effect on her. She became more comfortable with personal questions. She started to build trust towards her trouble-student. She told him things no one else knew.

“What is your actual hair color? N- not that your current... ‘hair style‘ looks bad or anything, I just always wondered.“, Doctor Strange stuttered. It was almost sweet. 

She never even really knew why she preferred to be bald. Maybe it had something to do with her past. She once loved her hair and had kept it long but, after all the people she was close to died around her, it felt... wrong. It felt wrong for everyone to die and her to stay young. Her hair had made her young and human.  
She took a long breath despite herself. The memory hurt.

“Blonde. My hair color was blonde.“ 

And with that the ex-neurosurgeon knew he had struck a nerve. It was more personal than he had thought.   
Their interaction was somewhat strained after that.  
Mr. Strange kept mostly silent and The Ancient One was grateful for that. 

It took the both of them a while to get back together as close as they had been but eventually the comfortable atmosphere between them reappeared.   
Doctor Stephen Strange became a bit more careful with his questions but they still remained personal. And, to The Ancient One‘s horror, she didn‘t mind.  
She knew he asked her all of this because she was a challenge. She was nothing more than a game. But it didn‘t feel like it. It felt nice, which was unnerving. But she couldn‘t stop it - didn‘t want to. 

So it continued.

The Ancient One had already forgotten their little incident and apparently, so did the doctor. Their relationship got more intimate; sometimes she‘d ask him about himself. It could’ve even been something close to friendship, even if it sometimes almost felt like flirting. The Ancient One had never flirted before, she didn’t even really know how it worked. But Stephen Strange was eloquent and charming and it felt tempting to think of it as flirting. However, The Ancient One knew better. It was really just the doctor‘s style. 

They were outside, training. Mordo mostly trained the ex-neurosurgeon to fight with his body and strength. It was a blunt and bulky defense.   
The Ancient One trained him to fight with his magic. He needed quick reflexes, a sort of elegance and pure willpower. She liked that about him because he was so ambitious.   
After a bit of time, he asked: “After all this time I‘ve been here, I still don‘t know what to call you“

She moved forward and attacked Mr. Strange with a magical makeshift staff. 

“Is Sorcerer Supreme or Ancient One not good enough for you, Strange?“

“Sure, but ‘The Ancient One‘? Well, somebody likes to have her ego stroked, I can tell.“

He dodged and fought back.   
The Ancient One had become used to his teasing up to a point were she even enjoyed his little comments. Her facial expression was somewhat close to a smile. 

“That‘s interesting, coming from you, doctor.“

She spun to the side and around him, giving him a kick in the back with her knee.   
He stumbled forward but caught himself. 

“Well, I wouldn‘t know what else to call you. Surely, you have a name.“

She froze. Yes, she had. She had but she was the Sorcerer Supreme and didn‘t require one anymore. A name would make her so human, just like her hair did. Stephen Strange looked at her. Both of them knew that, if she told him, a line would be crossed. An important line that defined their relationship. Everything beyond that would be new territory.   
Somebody knowing her name would make her so vulnerable, stripped of every barrier she once created between her and her Inner Self.

She suddenly fought him with two thrown light daggers. He reacted quickly but he had still caught her brief stiffness.

Over the whole time they were training, she didn‘t say anything to him. The silence was nearly unbearable and the doctor seemed to regret his curiosity.   
It went on like that for the rest of the day. They both remained silent, much to the confused looks of other masters and students. 

After dinner Doctor Stephen Strange was about to retreat to his room when he heard a soft voice behind him. 

“Tenille.“, The Ancient One spoke and walked past him without saying another word. 

She didn‘t see the small smile and soft expression he gave her. 

Several weeks later everything was like it had always been. 

“How many magical relics do you have?“

Her first impulse was to answer him like she always did but stopped herself. The Ancient One felt anger building up inside of her. It was a very sensitive topic, always had been. Obviously, Mr. Strange didn‘t know that but these seven words made her little personal predicament come to the surface again. 

“I don’t have any.“

The anticipated silence of shock arrived.   
She didn‘t even have one magical relic - The Ancient One of all people. She could already see the doctor opening his mouth to say something (“How?“), she stopped him.

“You should get used to the fact that some questions are not to be asked by your person, Mr. Strange.“

He was taken aback. After the reveal about her name, the Sorcerer Supreme and her student started to experience a new sort of intimacy The Ancient One couldn‘t name yet.   
Stephen Strange wasn‘t used to The Ancient One (Tenille) not replying to his questions, especially not about such a mundane thing as a magical relic.   
She didn‘t even know why exactly she was so snarky and refused to answer him. She probably transferred the anger and humiliation onto the ex-neurosurgeon.   
She just wanted to never talk about it ever again.  
To her disadvantage, the look on the doctor‘s face wasn‘t pitying or sulky, it was intrigue. He looked intrigued.  
The Ancient One knew that all of this was a game and the ex-neurosurgeon thought he‘d win it. It seemed that it didn’t matter what she did, he‘d never let her go. 

A great mystery to be solved.

Mordo had explained it to Stephen Strange long ago, the magical relic would chose you if it decides that you‘re ready. She wasn‘t ready.   
Her naïve Inner Self kept on believing that she‘d be chosen when she became old and wise enough but she knew that this was never going to happen and it frustrated her. She was unworthy of something most of her students and former students had.  
She never wanted to think about that, never wanted to feel, so she kept it all locked down.   
Her Inner Self remained hidden, that‘s why Doctor Stephen Strange would never manage to win this challenge.   
Wouldn’t he?  
He tried to invade her privacy and befriend (or something) her.   
It made The Ancient One feel uncomfortable because it was definitely bad... even though it didn‘t feel wrong.   
She was kind of scared because it felt right for him to do that. 

But before she could drown in her own worries any further, Kaecilius destroyed the London Sanctum and attacked the one in New York.  
And when she saw her trouble-student again, he was with the Cloak of Levitation that had chosen him as its master. She couldn‘t help it, she became jealous. 

“No minor feat. It’s a fickle thing.“

This only made it worse. That rather ironic comment wasn‘t even supposed to come out of her mouth.  
Her Inner Self made its presence known. 

Aside from his new companion, somehow Stephen Strange had changed. This suspicion only proved itself right when he told Mordo about her pact with Dormammu. He doubted her, just like Kaecilius did. 

It hurt.

It hurt because he knew nothing. She wanted to explain but she feared that her Inner Self would fully rise to the surface. She fled. 

Maybe, she was about to lose this game after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y‘all liked it!   
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated. *hugs*
> 
> The name Tenille is actually Celtic and means “she who brings light“. I wanted something even half resembling the name Tilda and I found the name‘s meaning very fitting.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Love, Saerwen.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed reading!  
> Enormous hugs to everybody who leaves kudos and a comment!  
> Feel free to mention my mistakes.  
> Love you all!


End file.
